el dia que el mundo se volvio loco jaja

 

Chapter 00: “I'm a pathetic NEET”

I was not aware of the damage I was doing to myself.

Or that was the lie I wanted to believe, but the truth was something else. Deep inside me, I was aware of the damage, but I was afraid to face it. I was afraid to face the world and the reality that was in front of me. I was afraid to... look in a mirror and realize what I had become.

A 35-year-old NEET.

**

It was just another day; daylight had gone into hiding and night had fallen. As usual, the old lamppost in front of my room came on. I could see its light on through the slits of my lowered blind.

In my totally dark room, I, a fat, ugly 35-year-old who neither works nor studies, was sitting in front of a monitor, playing video games.

As I moved the mouse back and forth, I squeezed my fat cheeks in concentration. The sound of explosions and gunfire echoed in my ears through my headphones. This was the new shooter that had recently hit the market, after installing it I had spent the whole week playing it.

That was my routine, playing video games from the time I wake up until I sleep.

It was the only thing I did in my life.

And when I felt hungry, I would stealthily open my door to pick up a plate of food that my mother always left next to my door.

As soon as I picked up the plate, I would hurriedly close the door as if I was running away or hiding from something.

Once I finished eating, I would put the plate back in the same place and then, I would not open my door again until nightfall.

The night is great.

Nighttime always felt relaxing and peaceful, it was the time n where the whole world seemed to fall into silence and tranquility. It was the only time of day where I could leave my room and go downstairs to the dining room to get some water and food, or even go to the bathroom and take a shower so I wouldn't reek of stinky sweat.

The night always felt like it was my friend.

When night fell, that inner fear I felt inside me would lighten and my nerves would calm down. I could walk up and down the stairs to the second floor without flinching or shivering.

Whenever that happened, my first goal was always to confirm my mother's room. My father passed away when I was just an unruly brat, so my mother raised me on her own.

After stealthily opening my mother's room and confirming that she was sleeping, I always let out a sigh of relief and quietly closed the door again.

That was my routine.

Outside of that routine, I knew nothing else.

The outside world was a stranger to me. With the passage of all these years since I became a Hikkikomori, I could no longer remember the last time I opened the door to go outside to the courtyard to get some air.

Every time I took a step towards the door with the intention of trying to leave the house, my heartbeat accelerated and my nerves and sweat increased.

I felt like I was suffocating and my legs were shaking.

Inside me, I could imagine the looks of disgust and reproach that people would give me when they saw me, and that paralyzed me. It made me fearful and panicky.

And in the end, fear always got the better of me and like the pathetic, cowardly man that I am, I always ended up going back to my room and closing the door.